You were probably relieved that it was over. You probably felt flustered or frustrated because it was uncomfortable, and you didn’t know if it was because of you, or because of the other person, or just the topic.

Well, unfortunately, that same type of situation can often keep you from getting a job. Aside from answers to questions, candidates are judged on their personality traits like confidence, passion, curiosity, tone of voice, perceived kindness, sense of humor and more. Another significant soft skill is the ability to maintain a smooth, productive and optimistic conversation that flows effortlessly.

Meeting a recruiter or potential supervisor for the first time can end up being very robotic and one-sided, which causes the candidate to feel like they are answering a questionnaire rather than just talking to a real person. It can trick the candidate’s brain into the trap of realizing it’s a test, increasing their likelihood to feel under pressure, rather than realizing it is really just a conversation between two people to see if there is a mutual fit.

Unfortunately, if the conversation is awkward as a result of being one-sided, or you don’t knock it out of the park with all 10/10 answers, it ends up reflecting poorly on you even if it’s not entirely your fault.

The best to avoid this awkward fate is to come prepared with questions of your own. Interviews are not a one-way street. They are a chance for two people to come together and explore the idea of working together.

Think of it as vetting a partnership. When both parties are doing an equal amount of talking, the candidate has more of a chance to let their personality shine and the conversation becomes more organic and productive as a result.

There are questions candidates can ask to help move the conversation along naturally. Here are a few you can take to your next interview to make sure the interviewer not only is impressed by your experience, but is blown away by how great the conversation was.

Asking About the Interviewer

• 1. How long have you been with the company?
• 2. What did you do before you came here?

These questions will start the conversation off nicely because the recruiter will definitely ask you about your current role, where you’re from and start going down your resume. Take the opportunity to break up the conversation and ask them about themselves. This will help create more of a normal conversation between two people and less of a scripted scenario.

Asking About the “Meat” of the Role

• 1. What are the 2-3 skills that are absolutely essential to succeeding in this role? Are there any deal-breakers (“if you don’t have this, you definitely can’t succeed in this role”)?
• 2. What are the key success metrics and how are they measured? How will the person in this role be responsible for making sure success is met?
• 3. What are some of the day-to-day pain points associated with this role? What other pain points exist that this role could help fix?

The above questions are the most important part of the interview. This is where you truly find out if you can realistically achieve the needs of the company for that particular role. You will undoubtedly be asked about experience, and you will be asked to go in depth about your past roles so that the interviewer can get a feel for what your key strengths are. Asking the above questions will bring even further depth and clarity into the conversation for both the candidate and the interviewer.

Longer Term, Bigger Picture, Higher Level Questions

• 1. What are some of the big things you’re trying to improve on right now? How will this role help add to those improvements?
• 2. Who else is on the team? How will I work with them?
• 3. How do x, y, and z departments interact with our department?
• 4. What is your vision for the department and for this role in the next few years?

The above questions will impress the interviewer because of your ability to think big picture. It will show the interviewer that you’re genuinely interested in the nitty gritty details of the role, showing that you’re taking it very seriously. Let your genuine curiosity come across by asking about how you’ll be working with other team members and departments, and nudge them to give you insights into their long term visions. They will appreciate the initiative and passion.

And Before You Go…

1. What is your biggest concern or reservation with hiring me for the position, based on what you’ve heard so far?

This is your one final opportunity to destroy any lingering concerns and worries. There may be something the interviewer heard that either came off the wrong way or was misunderstood. Before walking away and leaving the decision entirely in their hands, get them to let it all out while you still have a chance to defend yourself and your chances.

Remind Yourself It’s a Two-Way Street

As stated earlier, an interview is simply an exploration of a potential partnership. It is not a scripted list of questions where one person asks and one person responds. It’s a two-way street, not a one-way street. So ask questions and make it interactive. Being able to ask the right questions at the right times will add depth to the conversation and will increase your chances of having a successful interview.

The time I passed out

I contracted the flu right before my interview for an information technology position. I’d applied for the job about a year before the actual interview. In the meantime I had to take a test and wait until the HR board decided to actually fill the position. Since it took so long to get the live interview I didn’t want to postpone. It was a great opportunity, and I couldn’t miss out.

I was sick, dehydrated and of course a little nervous going into the meeting–and I wound up passing out during the interview. I had tunnel vision and I faintly heard the interviewer say that he was calling for an ambulance.

The director called me the next day to check up on me and reschedule the interview, which we did about a month later.  The second interview went well, but I didn’t get the job.  —Anonymous

The time I drew a complete blank

During my interview for an assistant editor position, I met with a panel of about five employees from the company. One of them asked me about my duties at my previous job, and my mind went blank. I was completely silent for about 10-15 seconds and just stared out the window at a tree while I tried to think of something to say. I was eventually able to collect my thoughts and answer the question, but the damage had been done. After the interview I felt that I wouldn’t hear anything more from them regarding the position. I was right. —Mike Rivers

The time I failed at doors

I opened a broom closet instead of the front door when I was trying to make my exit from the interview. —Laura H.

The time I couldn’t keep it together

It was just an interview for a clerical job, but I was young and super nervous. My voice was trembling, and the interviewer could see that I was a wreck. He tried to get me to relax, but once I realized that he could see that I was nervous—it just made me more nervous! A few minutes later he tried again to get me to calm down, and then things really got bad. Toward the end of the interview I started apologizing to him…a lot! He seemed very annoyed, and I never heard from the company again. —Scott Rowden

The time I was seriously grossed out

I met with one of the partners at the firm who spent the entire interview coughing and spitting…into a Styrofoam cup. —Anonymous

The time I got stung

I was interviewing to be a production assistant in New York. I was so into giving my pitch that I didn’t notice that a bee had landed on my hand. Then it stung me! I ran my hand under some cold water in the sink and then got back to the interview. But in the end I got the gig and my first broadcast credit! —Nancy Matson

The time the director fell asleep

Sure, I was available at 9 pm to come to his home/office for an interview! The job was for a screenwriter position and the writer/director was there along with an assistant and another job candidate. Eventually, the other candidate and the assistant left, so then it was just me and the writer/director. He kept asking me if I would be willing to do secretarial work in addition to script work.  

By now it’s about 11 pm and he’s still asking me interview questions. Then he starts to kind of… fall asleep in the chair in front of me. At which point I’m like, “Okay, so, yeah! Let’s continue this later!” And I got out of there. —Laura Bahr

The time I nearly suffocated

I interviewed with a tobacco company fresh out of college. The people interviewing me smoked the ENTIRE time. As I sat there struggling to breath and feeling a sore throat coming on, they asked me if I was a smoker. I said no. I was pretty sure that at that point I didn’t get the job. I was right. —Marcia Perry-Jones

The time I didn’t know what I was getting myself into

The job advertisement was seeking a copywriter for an “industry trade magazine.” It turns out that the industry was porn. I would have been writing for a sex toy magazine to be exact. The interviewer warned me that taking the job might negatively impact my ability to work elsewhere, and then he sent me home with several copies of the publication and told me to call him if I was still interested. I never called him back.   —Anonymous

If so, you probably rambled on a little too long.

Here, we’re talking with media pros to learn why over-talking can ruin your chances of landing the job, as well as a few steps you can take to make sure you never do it again.

Talking Too Much Hurts Your Chances

Sure, it’s not the absolute worst thing you could do in an interview, but it can hurt your chances of getting the gig. Nicole Williams, career expert and founder of WORKS by Nicole Williams points to a quote from Pauline Phillips (creator of the Dear Abby column): “The more you talk, the less you are listened to.”

“Interviewers are of course looking to learn about you and get a sense of your personality,” says Williams. “However, what they really want is someone who is succinct, articulate and pensive.”

Another thing to consider is the interviewer’s schedule. Dan Auerbach, operations director at Intuitive Digital, says more often than not, the interviewer will schedule back to back interviews with several candidates. So if you ramble and go over your allotted time, you run the risk of disrupting the interviewer’s entire schedule.

Be Prepared

Enter an interview without fully preparing for questions, and you’ll be sure to ramble. To fix this, Williams suggests doing a mock interview with a friend and recording the interview. In review, you’ll be able to tell where you stumble, where you’re a little too verbose and what responses can be polished.  

“Being comfortable with what you are saying and how you structure your sentences is very important when it comes to interviews,” says Williams. “You don’t want to give one-word answers and you certainly don’t want to dive into a five-minute spiel.”

Polish your interview skills, impress the hiring manager and dramatically increase your odds of landing the job with a mock interview.

Deal with Silences

The interviewer waiting longer than usual to respond after you’ve answered their question is one of the oldest tricks in the book. Sometimes the interviewer is simply taking notes, other times, he or she is seeing how you’ll fill the void.

“People typically see this as they didn’t answer the question properly and would fill that space with more information, typically stuff that may hurt their chances,” says David Blacker, managing principal of digital marketing agency Venerate Media Group.

Rather than attempting to continue answering the question, Blacker recommends saying something along the lines of “Did that answer your question or were you looking for more clarity?”

But just as important as what you do say and ask at an interview is what you don’t—phrases, topics and questions to avoid at all costs if want to move to the next level, and ultimately get the offer.

Before your next interview, give a read to the following of verboten subjects. You’ll up your chances of winning the job—and decrease your likelihood of blowing your chances over an ill-considered choice of words.

1. Industry Fluff

When you walk into your interview, the hiring manager is going to expect you to have a solid grasp of your industry, not just a fundamental understanding.

When a candidate talks about how big social media is, or how much it’s changed the world, it ends up sounding like fluff, says Jodie Cook, managing director of JC Social Media Limited. “We already know social media is huge,” says Cook. “That’s why they’re here being interviewed for a job within the field.”

Cook suggests citing specific examples of when something’s been done really well, or not really well, and your thoughts on how it could be done better.  

2. Negativity About Past Managers

No matter what you endured at your previous job, there is never a good reason to talk about a previous manager in a negative light—especially in the small word of digital media.

“[D]iscussing your previous job in a negative light shows a lack of forethought that could distract from how great of a candidate you are otherwise,” says Juhea Kim, editor in chief of pulsd and co-founder of the healthy living site Peaceful Dumpling.

A good rule of thumb: Focus on the role and not the people.

“When you have left a job for a negative reason,” says Amanda McLernon, director of digital strategy at the Bauserman Group, a Reno-based agency, “it is best to focus on the responsibilities of the job, the role, and perhaps the absence of a career path in the company because those things are not personal and show that you care about your position and goals.”

3. Uncertain Career Goals

When a candidate says, “I’m not really sure where I want my career to go next,” a hiring manager hears an alarm.

While you don’t need to have your 5- or 10-year careers goals set in stone, you should be able to express an idea of what you want to do for the next two years, says McLernon.

“I’d like to make sure you want to be in this industry and won’t be hating your life every day at work,” says McLernon, “If you hate your life at the office, I know you won’t be the productive, valuable employee I need you to be.”

4. A Sole Focus on Big Brands

If you’re interviewing for any sort of creative role, you should be ready to talk about your favorite campaigns.

And if you’re prepared to talk about, say, Oreo’s ‘dunk in the dark’ tweet, Cook advises candidates to think smaller. “I want to know a candidate understands building a brand from scratch using social media is a whole different ball game,” says Cook.

Ditch the conversation on the million-dollar ad and opt for a smaller brand’s work, discussing how they became big through digital, “not necessarily because of budget but because of creativity,” says Cook.

5. Vacation Time

Many startups and digital media companies are gaining reputations as office-perk-friendly spaces, but asking about perks at your first interview may raise some red flags.

“It’s not that we want to hire people who plug away at work like robots,” says Kim. “Clearly, we want employees who are balanced, well-rounded, and happy. But we also want people who understand that digital media isn’t all fun and games, and lavish startup perks.”

For Alex Twersky, career expert and Mediabistro’s own resume and cover letter writer, it’s simply a matter of timing. “First, dazzle them enough that they want to hire you,” says Twersky. “Then, when the desire on the employer’s part to have you as part of their team is clear, ask them pertinent questions about benefits.”

6. Lack of a Skill

In a world where learning a new skill is ridiculously within reach, there is no good reason to go into an interview without at least taking a quick online crash course in a required skill that’s listed in the job description.  

“Hiring managers are interested in people who can hit the ground running, so don’t give them any reason to rule you out,” says Kim. “And be ready to give yourself a crash course in anything you don’t know—before your start date.”  

Rather than admitting you don’t know the skill but you’re excited to learn, be able to say with confidence that you’ve taken a course and are excited to apply what you learned. 

7. Industry Buzzwords

In digital media, they’re everywhere: Clickability, ideation, agile marketing…”delightion”. Even though these words seem common tongue, it’s best to avoid them at an interview. Kim says hiring managers do understand how it can be tough to avoid industry cliches, but she reminds candidates to be authentic.

After all, hiring managers aren’t looking for someone who can repeat common phrases, rather, they’re looking for people who can bring real, thoughtful ideas to their business.

See if you can identify where you’re using jargon and do your research so you can actually talk about those topics, rather than gloss over them with catch phrases.

8. Desperation

While it’s necessary to show your enthusiasm for the job, saying that you’ll take any opening can do more damage than good.

“Seeming desperate works against you every time,” says Twersky. “No employer wants to hire someone who is willing to accept any suitor. They want someone who is in demand, or at least perceived to be so.”

Rather than falling into the over-eager candidate trap, Twersky suggests you project a confident, relaxed and focused energy that shows you’re interested not just in any job, but the right one for you.

Looking for more interview pitfalls to avoid? Maybe it’s time you schedule your session with Mediabistro’s career counselor. Whether you’re looking to build your perfect elevator speech, or refine your interview skills, our media career pros are here to make you shine.

Not only do stories help bring your skills and experience to life, they also engage the interviewer and leave a lasting impression. And with all the competition for media jobs these days, it’s important you be remembered.

“We can read up about your skills and experience from your resume and LinkedIn profile,” says Nicole Williams, career expert and CEO of the career website WORKS by Nicole Williams, “but to get a true sense of the interviewee’s character and communication skills is something you cannot always draw from a resume or cover letter.”

So to be the candidate the interviewer can’t forget about, here’s how you can develop stories from some common interview questions.

1. Tell a Little About Yourself

“Tell me about yourself” is an interview classic, and you can pretty much rely on it being asked the first thing. And for that reason, you should treat it as the awesome opener it has the potential to be by developing a storified answer.

Ali Mercier, marketing content manager at The Leadership Program, says to answer this question truthfully, showing who you are as a person, what excites you, your values and strengths and how you’ve operated in previous positions.

“[Y]ou’re not there to prove anything—you’re there to present who you are and why you think you’d be a great candidate for the position the most compelling way possible,” says Mercier.

The interviewer isn’t asking for a synopsis of your resume. The best bet here is a minute-long elevator pitch that frames how your experiences make you the candidate for the job.

2. Tell About a Time You Made a Mistake

Your interviewer may very well ask you about a mistake you’ve made on the job. If prompted, this is your time to recount it. The good news? You can spin the snafu to make it work for you.

“Nearly all work-related mistakes can work in a candidate’s favor,” says Mercer, “as long as they were able to move beyond it in a positive direction.”

So take that shameful slip-up and build it into a quick story detailing the mistake you made, how you took responsibility for your actions and what you learned from the experience.

3. Tell About a Time You Worked on a Team

If there’s one thing to get across in your next interview, it’s that you can work on a team.

“Nobody wants a Debbie Downer or worse an employee who can’t play nice in the sandbox,” says Williams. “Employers want to know that you will be a good fit and add value to the culture of your workplace.”

For this reason, it’s important you develop a story that explains a time you worked extra hard to support your team. Think of a time where maybe you stayed late, took on extra work or did something to up the morale of the team.

4. Tell About a Challenge You Faced at Work, and How You Overcame It

This question might seem intimidating, but if you prepare for it—and you should—you’ll be able to show the hiring manager your ability to learn and adapt to a difficult situation.

Williams wants to hear an articulate example that gives insight into how the candidate handles a crisis. “Do they freeze, pass the buck, fixate on the negative? Learning how people handle pressure is a powerful part of the interview process,” says Williams.

Develop a quick story of a time you faced a challenge at work, how you rose to the occasion and what you learned from the experience.

5. Tell About a Time You Showed Leadership

If you’re a seasoned media professional, you shouldn’t have a problem developing a story for this question. It can be as simple as talking about a time you led a creative project or led an aspect of a project.

And even if you’re at the early stages of your career, you can develop a story where you’ve shown some form of leadership, whether it was in an internship or even on a project in college.

“You might not have manager stamped on your business cards but there are moments when you have taken initiative, increased positivity and productivity,” says Williams. “It could have been for one project, one day, one instant but there is a moment when you needed to think on your feet and motivate others to do the work you set out for them.”

6. Tell About a Time You Solved a Problem

Showing that you’re a problem solver is going to help you score major wins in your next interview because everybody wants to know you can identify issues and create solutions for clients and your team.

And Mercier says being able to talk about your problem-solving abilities is essential as it provides “a gateway to see how you do when the professional situation you’re in isn’t ideal.”

To develop a story for this question, Mercier recommends touching on three main points: how you addressed the problem, the result and what you learned from the experience.

7. Tell What You Are Passionate About

Hiring managers want to know you’re passionate about the work you do; in the field of media, where hectic deadlines and long days are all too often occurrences, it’s important to know you’re there for your love of the craft.

“Passion is probably the single most important factor for a successful candidate looking to join my team,” says Victor Tang, director of online marketing at corporate software developer Sage. “People who join my team should be passionate, excited and want to be on my team.”

While your story doesn’t necessarily need to be work-related, it should relate to an aspect of the job. For example, if you’re interviewing for a content writing role, you might tell a story about your passion for storytelling, adding in a concrete example, like how you develop a weekly short story for your blog.

8. Tell About What You Do for Fun Outside of Work

Here’s a great opportunity to tell the story of who you are outside of your career. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to weave in how your outside passions make you a great candidate for the position. Rather, answer honestly, sharing a story about what you love to do.

For example, if you’re a runner, tell the story of how you got into running, why you love it, the big race coming up and how you’re preparing. Keep it brief, compelling and lighthearted. The point of this question is simply to get to know you more as a person, so be sure to have fun with it.

“I’ve interviewed individuals who have told me all forms of responses from teaching yoga to ghost hunting,” says Tang, “The fun in the question is never knowing what to expect from the answer!”

With companies maximizing their budgets in this economy, some job seekers may find themselves being asked to conduct a video interview. This format allows the company to keep HR personnel and hiring managers in the office and still have a personal experience of seeing the candidate answer questions. Here are some best practices to this newer form of interviewing:

Dress for the Interview

Wear a suit or equally appropriate interview attire for your industry and the position you are applying for and be as professional as you would if you were meeting them in person. Having a video interview is a convenience to the interviewer and is not a convenience to you as the candidate. The reality is that you need to still dress for the occasion as if you were going to the corporate headquarters.

Position Yourself in a Room With a Neutral Background

Some candidates will conduct a Skype, WebEx or GoToMeeting interview with their kitchen or bedroom in the background. This could be distracting to the interviewer. Try to find a blank wall that will keep the person focused on what you are saying.

Practice With a Friend

Make sure you have functionality with your webcam and the system the employer is using. Don’t wait until 10 minutes before the interview to download WebEx or GoToMeeting or whatever system they use. Ask what program they are using and download it in advance.

Get online with someone you trust to be candid with you and practice your tone and level of speech. This person can also help you determine if there are any other bad habits you may have such as wandering eye contact, overuse of your hands, or unnecessary words like “um” and “you know.”

Check Your Volume

Get a separate microphone if you need to. Some people know that they talk quietly and the interview process is not the time to be the soft-spoken person, especially via computer. Detachable microphones are very affordable and can make the most soft spoken person sound confident and interview appropriate.

Practice Answers to Commonly Asked Questions

Have any supporting documents prepared and in front of you as a reference as well. Candidates that can share information during the interview and then offer to send it to the interviewer will have an advantage during the interview process.

Stacie Garlieb is the owner of Successful Impressions, a career search resources and guidance service.

The American Marketing Association is the pre-eminent force in marketing for best and next practices, thought leadership and valued relationships, across the entire discipline of marketing. Its online publications include posts on industry trends, career advice and more.

How to Prepare for a Job Interview was originally published by the American Marketing Association.

A crucial part of our job as recruiters is preparing our candidates for their interviews. No matter how experienced you are or how many interviews you’ve completed, it’s imperative to sit down and prepare for each one individually.

Although it may sound obvious, it’s essential to get to know the company. Don’t make the mistake of focusing solely on your own background when prepping for an interview. You should have a basic understanding of the company’s history, especially if it’s a smaller organization, and any recent news—mergers, leadership changes and so on.

Google them on the day of the interview, as you never know what news may have broken overnight. The same goes for hiring managers: Be sure you look up the people you’ll be meeting with on LinkedIn to get a sense of their background. It’s helpful to know their educational backgrounds, their volunteer involvement and how they arrived in their current roles so that you can more easily establish commonalities with them.

If you’re working with a recruiter, glean as much information as you can from them. They’ll often have additional insight into some of the more nuanced features of how the organization functions, such as company culture, work style and organizational structures.

They’ll also have information about a person’s interview style and can help you understand what types of questions you may be asked. If your recruiter hasn’t already prepped you with that information, make sure to ask.

Prior to walking into any interview, make sure that you’ve thought of specific work examples that you can discuss when prompted. Start by writing down a list of real work situations that you can pull from. The STAR method, a widely used technique, provides a great framework for tackling each potential question.

STAR stands for situation, task, action and result. You should open with a brief description, explain the task that you had to complete while detailing any specific challenges, describe the action that you took, and close with the quantifiable results or impact of your efforts. Writing down these points prior to the interview will cement them in your mind, allowing you to reference and adjust them as needed to meet the demands of the interview.

It’s also important to remember that in an interview, the questions should go both ways. Interviewers expect candidates to ask them questions. Be sure to have at least two questions for each person interviewing you.

They could be specific to that person or they could be specific to the role. If the interviewer hasn’t already covered it, it’s good to ask what that person enjoys most about working at the company, what the challenges are and what would make a person successful in this position.

After the interview, be sure to follow up with everyone. You should leave with business cards from each person you spoke with.

Send a thank-you email within 24 hours of the interview. Make sure to personalize each email by referencing something that you spoke about to illustrate your engagement and interest.

Although a lot of this may seem very basic, we hear all too often from clients that candidates fell short in one of these areas. Taking these simple, preparatory steps beforehand will allow you to relax during your interview.

You’ll have a mental Rolodex of potential responses, which you can tailor on the fly. Your interview should feel conversational, and by putting in the time to prepare, you’ll ensure that your talents are conveyed with a seemingly effortless sparkle.

The American Marketing Association is the pre-eminent force in marketing for best and next practices, thought leadership and valued relationships, across the entire discipline of marketing. Its online publications include posts on industry trends, career advice and more.

Some things in life are just out of your control. So first of all, relax. But how can you prevent ruining your chances at getting the job?

To make sure you handle this sticky situation with the utmost professionalism and care, we reached out to hiring managers asking, “What’s the best way to reschedule an interview?”

If you have a few days

Cain Richards, a digital analyst for seoworks.com, says in instances where the candidate can identify an issue such as an emergency medical appointment, he expects a minimum of two days’ notice via email.

“This gives me a chance to reschedule my time efficiently,” says Richards.

“And hopefully leaves me with enough notice to set up a replacement interview.”

In case of emergencies

Sometimes, things just happen at the worst possible moments: Your cat needs to be rushed to the vet, your pre-war apartment starts leaking from the ceiling, you wake up with a 24-hour bug.

There are always instances that cannot be predicted. In cases of last minute emergencies, Richards recommends opting for an email with a brief reason for having to cancel, followed by a phone call to ensure the message was delivered.

Don’t forget the apology

For Stefanie Parks, digital marketer and founder of Dermwarehouse, the most important part is to apologize, letting the company know how disappointed you are that you’ll have to push the interview.

Parks also believes a little integrity goes a long way. “I think the best way to handle it is to just be honest,” says Parks. “Tell them why you can’t make the interview, and hopefully, they can understand that things happen and things come up that you can’t help.”

Soft skills—those personal qualities that allow you to work well with and get along with others—can help you in an interview if the other candidates have the same basic skill set for the job. This is especially true if you can relate your soft skills to the company and the position you are applying for.

During the interview process, many candidates feel pressured to only focus on their hard skills. While it’s important to highlight these skills, it’s even more impressive when you can explain to the interviewer your soft skills and strengths that relate to the position.

Soft skills are the qualities that can set you apart from other candidates when applying for a job. Although it’s necessary to have the desired knowledge and experience in order to qualify for the position, the manner in which you apply your experience in the workplace is what makes you stand out.

Hiring managers want to know if you have the ability to lead, collaborate and listen to others. Essentially, they want to be positive you are truly the right fit for their company.

If you’re wondering how you can sell your soft skills during your next interview, check out these helpful tips:

Select Your Best Skills

To prove you have the right soft skills for the position, you must carefully select the best ones you possess. Choose three or four skills you believe define your work ethic and focus on them during your interview. It’s also important to relate these skills to the position you’re applying for, the company’s needs, and the culture of the company.

For example, if you’re applying for a position where the majority of your work will take place in a group setting, you’ll want to emphasize your ability to collaborate with others, communicate effectively, and resolve conflict if necessary. Once you select the soft skills that best describe your work ethic, then you can support them with examples from your experience.

Back Them Up

Now that you’ve selected your best skills for the position, it’s time to support them with real experience. Remember, you want to sell your soft skills in a way that will catch the hiring manager’s attention. Many people overlook the power of soft skills, so if you can use examples from your experience to support them, it will make you a much stronger candidate for the position.

To illustrate your soft skills, you want to use a situation from your experience to support your abilities. You could also select an accomplishment story to serve as an example, too. First, you want to make sure you describe the situation or event where you had to utilize your soft skills. Explain to the interviewer the specific skills you used and how you had to implement them. After you describe the scenario, explain the positive outcome of the event. This way, the hiring manager will know exactly what you have to offer and how your soft skills and strengths can make a positive impact on their company.

Explain Why

After highlighting your best skills and illustrating them to the hiring manager, you must explain how they make you the best candidate for the position. Soft skills are transferable abilities many people have to offer. For example, if your strengths happen to be adaptability and teamwork, then you must explain how the employer will benefit from your abilities. It’s important to keep in mind that soft skills are the qualities that will help you land the job.

Being able to highlight your soft skills during an interview will definitely set you apart from other the candidates applying for the position. Through using anecdotes and success stories from your experience, you will be able to sell your soft skills in a memorable way that will help you land the job.

Dan Schawbel is the author of Personal Branding Blog.

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Getting a handle on what your interviewer’s thinking will significantly up your chances of arriving at the interview primed to meet each item on your hiring manager’s mental checklist.

Assume the following during your next interview, and find out what you can do to come out on top:

1. “If you arrive late, you may as well take yourself out of the running.”

Whether you’re five minutes or 20 minutes tardy, you’ve just wasted your interviewer’s time—and right there you’ve started off on the wrong foot.

“Life happens,” says Vicki Salemi, HR consultant and career expert for Monster. “In many instances, it’s better for candidates to postpone the interview than arrive late—or be punctual but not perform their best because they’re distracted by whatever else is going on in their life.”

Your move: Allow an extra 15 to 30 minutes of travel time in case of traffic. And if you foresee something that could affect you making it to the interview on time, reschedule.

2. “I’m going to talk to people you’ve been in contact with at the office.”

Don’t be that person who thinks she can get away with being dismissive of the “little people.” Often, it will bite you in the rear.

“Be aware that everyone you come in contact with can and will offer their input when asked,” says Salemi.

Your move: When you enter an office for an interview, treat everyone you encounter, from the security guard to the stranger riding with you in the elevator, with professionalism and courtesy.

3. “I’ll take your appearance into consideration.”

Recruiters and hiring managers also want to know that you will fit well into the company or brand’s image, especially if the job you want is in sales or deals with clients.

“If you’re not going to look your best during a job interview,” says Salemi, “that’s a sign you don’t take yourself or your career too seriously.”

Your move: Check out social channels to see how your future colleagues dress. If you’re applying to a boutique agency, a more creative ensemble might be preferred to a suit. But never go too casual.   

4. “I’m looking for reasons to put you in the ‘no’ pile.”

Hiring managers may vet 10 to 20 candidates for a single role, so it’s a process of elimination to get their top two or three. When there’s a strong candidate pool, even minor mistakes could move you to the reject pile.

Your move: Be as prepared as possible for the interview and perfect your response to the ever-popular, “So tell me about yourself.” Give them plenty of reasons to say “yes.” And then give them a few more.

5. “I want to know how much—or little—you know about the company.”

Hiring managers want to see you have researched the company, its C-level employees, the industry, current trends and more. And they may not ask you how much you know, but wait for you to bring these topics up.

Your move: Get a sense of the company’s history and check out what press the company has had and what recent accolades it’s received. Casually insert your findings into your interview: “I read that your CEO, Joe Blow, has implemented a companywide training program. I think that’s fantastic; how’s it going?”

6. “When you’re relaxed, I’m relaxed.”

If you psych yourself out by thinking about how the interviewer has the upper hand, it can affect your demeanor, and be off-putting.

Your move: Focus on knowing your story, what you bring to the table and your knowledge of the company. Keep rehearsing until you’re able to address common interview questions like you’re discussing what you did over the weekend.

7. “If you keep interrupting me while I talk, I may resent it.”

Talking over someone—especially a hiring manager—is inconsiderate and makes the person feel you don’t think what he’s saying is important.

“If you continue to interrupt recruiters and hiring managers during the interview, they may think that’s how you’ll communicate on the job,” adds Salemi.

Your move: Be a good listener. Use verbal cues like nodding your head to indicate you have something to say on a point, but speak only after the manager has finished his statement.

8. “I will hold you up against your predecessor.”

If the last person in the role you’re seeking was a go-getter, the person hiring for the position is going to want someone who fits that mold. If the person was sloppy, the hiring manager is going to want someone who’s on point.

Your move: While your interviewer is discussing job responsibilities, or when you’re asked what questions you have, ask: “What are valuable qualities in this role?” And follow that up with a brief example of how you possess them in spades.

9. “There’s an internal candidate vying for this position.”

There’s often someone who has an edge on other candidates: someone on the inside who knows the company, knows the culture and likely knows the hiring manager. But this doesn’t mean the person’s a shoo-in; he still has to interview, just like you, and earn the spot.

Your move: Bring your usual confidence, eloquence and enthusiasm, and be prepared to impress your interviewer with what you bring to the table that an internal candidate does not: the fresh perspective and new skills that come with your outside experience.

10. “It’s OK to follow up after the interview—just don’t make it a daily habit.”

If a week passes and you’ve heard nothing from the hiring manager who interviewed you, she could just be backlogged.

Salemi recalls that at one employer she was typically working with close to 150 candidates at the same time. “It was extremely challenging to follow up with ones who interviewed recently and hadn’t heard back yet due to stalled hiring decisions,” says Salemi.

“I really didn’t want them calling me because I spent so much time conducting phone screens,” says Salemi. “Their calls nearly always went to voicemail and I’d have to call them back, leading to a game of phone tag that usually resulted in an email anyway.”

Your move: Check in once a week or every two weeks, not daily. Also note that most hiring managers prefer email over phone calls.